We as parents do not realize how family discussions done in front of our children, impact their future growth.

After coming from a day’s work, we feel it is important to discuss significant matters with our partner. It can be matters relating to job issues, household expenses or some new expenses that are about to come, relationship issues, future savings, and investment plans. Sometimes, we pass judgment on other people or relatives. Some of us even discuss plans of how to secure the child’s future in presence of their child. All these may impact the child’s thinking process. We need to be wary of this fact.

Taking one example of how a child perceives when he thinks he has a fallback arrangement in place.

During my childhood, I was having a false notion that my parents are rich, and they have large farmlands. This notion got into my brain that there is a fallback arrangement if I do not succeed. This kind of complacency didn’t help me. Because at the back of my mind, there is this factor working for you whenever you face challenges in your journey.

Parents, out of sheer love for their children, start giving this kind of comfort regarding the backup arrangement.  They share things like they have some property or land which will be ultimately owned by their child. This is done without knowing the fact that it may harm their child’s future. Some parents are so sensitive to the fact that they had a struggle in their life and now they would give everything possible to comfort their kids.

The subtle line between giving facilities and making them assured about their future is so frequently breached. Especially in a country like India, our emotions run very high for our kids. In the process of giving them maximum comfort, we forget that their child is missing vital experiences which struggle and challenges bring to them. We forget that we are not going to lead a life for them but it is they who have to earn their living. Avoiding life hustle will reduce them to being mediocre and give them pain in their life when they grow up. No matter how much wealth the child inherits, if he is not disciplined and doesn’t go as per the life principles, he is bound to struggle and be unhappy.

One thing that changed my life; was when I was going for my engineering studies, my mother told me “Son, please remember that we are poor and may not be able to meet all the expectations of the culture that you would be seeing there. I cried with my mother and pledged in my mind that I will just focus on my studies. Since then, I have embraced challenges in my life. Coming through the challenges, gives you the feeling of being a winner. Always think of becoming a giver rather than inheriting something from your parents.

The taste of success is only when you make it on your own!